There is an old joke about an apprentice stonemason in Yorkshire. He is given authority to etch his first eulogy on a gravestone, and sets to work. Returning to his employer for approval, the apprentice proudly reveals his work. The lettering is perfect, but the text reads, “Lord, he was thin.” “Go back,” says the Master, “and add the missing “e”. The end result is “Ee Lord, he was thin”.
The story came to mind during a conversation with my sister recently. This avowed agnostic told me she’d been to church. She described the experience to me.
“I met others at the entrance. They had come to worship, to socialise, and to feel part of a community. There was a choir, and I joined in as the congregation sang at full belt. It was like a scene from Sister Act, complete with revivalist band. Then came the sermon, thought-provoking and emphatic. I dropped a few quid into the collection tray. Members who were suffering or celebrating called upon us all to share in their prayers.”
“No-one at all remarked on how I was dressed, which is just as well since it was a warm and sultry morning and I was still dressed in my nightie (very minimal – I’ll spare you the detail). Newcomers like myself were offered mentoring to keep us on the straight and narrow road to Salvation.”
I asked my sister which church she’d attended that had been so accepting of this exhibitionism. “The Church of South Las Vegas”, she replied.
“Las Vegas, Nevada, USA?”, I queried. “That’s more than 5,000 miles away!”
“Oh yes,” she confirmed, “I was just curious to know how it would feel to interact with thousands of others from all around the world in a live service, online!”
This is not the only way in which religious communities are using technology. It is becoming commonplace for them to use Facebook, Twitter and other social media both in synchronous and own-time mode.
If you should drop by http://www.thechurchlvlive.com/ and you find the doors barred in Southern Las Vegas, don’t worry. You’ll be able to leave a message for the online prayer team who’ll surely put in a word for you. But best mind your Ps and Qs. E-Lord, you never know who might be moderating.
FOOTNOTE A swift explanation for readers from outside the UK. Yorkshire is a county in England, where some people speak with a distinctive regional accent. The expression “Ee bah gum” is stereotypical and loosely equates with “Well I never”.
The title of this blog echoes the hymn by William Cowper (1731-1800), “God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants his footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm”.
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